I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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