...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
