hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize