do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
