He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
