Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
