What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just found puke in my bra..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
