The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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