why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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