I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
