What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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