wat bout pragnant strippers??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
