Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
