I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
