Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
