3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
