i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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