sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
