Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize