Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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