they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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