His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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