I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
