But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
