id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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