Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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