oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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