nut hugger
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
