Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
