Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
