YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
