hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
