i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
