bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
