I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
