she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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