i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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