So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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