So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
