I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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