whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize