I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
