I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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