i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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