Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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