If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
