She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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