wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
