I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
