His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
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seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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