well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
