Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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