i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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