legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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