Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
