I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My vagina is very pro this idea
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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