i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
