need another drink. this is the easiest way
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
