that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
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The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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