I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
