Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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