How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
