spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
