I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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