She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
