That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
