Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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