my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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