There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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