You're my little dorito
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
